Helping Frum Men
Find Their Footing
In Marriage
Many husbands find themselves struggling with conflict, uncertainty, frustration, or disconnection in their marriage, without really knowing how to move things in a healthier direction.
Some are newly married and struggling to adjust. Others have been married for years but feel they never truly felt at peace in their relationship.
I work with husbands individually, in the context of the marriage, helping them better understand themselves, take ownership of their role in the dynamic, and create healthier, more stable relationships.
Who I Work With:
I work with husbands who:
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feel emotionally overwhelmed in their marriage
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struggle with emotional reactivity or anger
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constantly question whether they married the right person
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feel stuck in repetitive conflict
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have difficulty communicating effectively
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struggle with assertiveness or setting healthy boundaries
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feel disconnected, resentful, shut down, or emotionally exhausted
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want a better marriage but do not know how to get there
I work with frum men from many different backgrounds and personality styles — including thoughtful, introspective men, anxious overthinkers, conflict-avoidant husbands, and emotionally reactive men.
Common Issues We Work On:
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Anger and emotional regulation
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Marriage anxiety, panic and chronic doubt
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Communication problems
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Emotional disconnection
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Conflict and resentment
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Assertiveness and boundaries
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Performance in the bedroom
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Overthinking and relationship uncertainty
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Feeling trapped, stuck, or emotionally exhausted
My Approach:
Most marriage therapy focuses on both spouses sitting together, pointing out what the other person is doing wrong and trying to enact new relationship patterns in the therapists room. Often, couples leave feeling frustrated and defensive.
If marriage therapy did not work for you, husband therapy may be exactly what you need.
My approach is different.
I work directly with the husband, helping him understand and take responsibility for his role in the marriage dynamic. Instead of focusing on controlling or changing your spouse, we focus on helping you become more stable, clear, effective, and grounded within the relationship. Instead of doing enactments in the therapy room, you take home what you learned and apply it in real time.
I find that there are 3 primary benefits to woking with clients this way:
1) You can be open and honest in therapy without feeling like you need to filter what you say due to your spouse being there and hearing everything.
2) Finger pointing becomes a useless endeavor since we are only working with you. You end up owning everything you think, say or do, plummet the depth of your psyche to undertand of why and then figure out how to change your own relational patterns (with a little help from me).
3) You become more courageous and learn how to take relational risk because that is the only way forward- there are no beautiful enactments in the therapy room- rather you need to make them happen at home. If that sounds scary, it isn't. We work to help you get so comfortable with the ideas that clients end up doing it on their own accord.
Therapy with me is direct, thoughtful, practical, and emotionally honest. I talk to people like real human beings.
The goal is helping you build a marriage that feels calmer, healthier, connected and more stable.
Whether you are newly married or married for many years,
therapy can help you better understand what is happening
and create a healthier path forward.
WHAT PEOPLE SAY
"Most therapists are either too mushy or too cold and distant. You have the right balance between the two. I felt genuinely understood. I've never had a therapist who understood me and connected with me the way you do."
"You are very practical and skills-focused, with an approach that is l'maaseh. You come across as experienced, trustworthy, and easy to talk to. I always feel that you understand what I'm feeling and why I'm feeling that way. You also challenge me to look deeper at what's going on inside. I don't always enjoy it in the moment, but I know it's good for me."
"I came to therapy because I was struggling with Shalom Bayis. What was different with you was that we didn't just focus on what I should do differently—we worked on the underlying beliefs I had about myself and my wife that were driving how I acted. I also learned how to become a much more giving person. Before therapy, I honestly wasn't sure that I could really change. Thankfully I did, and it is making a huge difference in me and in my marriage."
"I was having a lot of stress in my marriage, and realized that I had things I needed to work on. Yaacov is very understanding and nonjudgmental. He talks to you eye to eye and makes it easy to open up, even about things that are uncomfortable. I've become more aware of myself, more assertive and confident, and more at peace with who I am. Therapy isn't always easy, but I've learned that avoiding things is harder. It takes effort, but it's worth it."
"I came at a time when I was struggling a lot with my self-esteem and was constantly focused on my shortcomings. What I appreciated most was that you really listened without making me feel judged. You didn't jump in and tell me what I was doing wrong. You listened, asked questions, and then we worked through things together. I'm a much happier person today and have better skills for dealing with the things I struggle with. Therapy gave me a safe place to speak openly and find solutions without feeling judged."